youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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