thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The air was thick with penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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