I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
