He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
