The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
A bitchslap is in order.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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