toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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