but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
