just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
