I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
