yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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