I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She's the barista slut.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
