my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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