So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
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