dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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