I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
