the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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