He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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