we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were destined to go to rehab together
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize