Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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