It was confusing and full of hummus
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
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