the new term for farting is butt boxing.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I think your dad took our porno
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
