how can u be prego again
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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