Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
