i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
