Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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