Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
