are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
