i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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