I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize