wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
