Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
