The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
