Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
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