New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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