Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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