so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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