he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
