I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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