so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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