just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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