They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
