i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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