Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
