Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
