i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize