This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
