I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
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