Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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