well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
