I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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