Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
