If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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