I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i wish my penis had a tongue
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
