its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
