i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
