the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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