Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
