im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize