Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
