im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
